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I've said it before, and I'll say it again:  writers love doing anything except writing.  Perhaps they'll organize the office and research new, carbon-neutral brands of coffee in preparation for writing!  As they sit down to open their word processing program they'll stumble upon Reddit for just a few minutes that stretch into hours.  Maybe they'll even pick up a book that is about writing, and read that instead of making their word count grow.

And I'm here to help those writers push away their unfinished novel for a few more days.  Allow me to present for your reading (non-writing) pleasure, the Nerdist Writer's Panel podcast.

Relevant Links:
Main site!
Nerdist page to listen to the podcast!
Twitter!

"We have to go back to high school."
"I'd rather not."

Ben Blacker, your host and guide to the world of professional writing, invites you to listen in to his chats with creators as they discuss the greater world of writing.  There is a wide bevvy of writers to choose from with Writers Panel:  novelists, comic writers, television and movie script writers, and all manner of those who earn cash by putting words to page.  The variety brings a unique level of awesome to this podcast because just as a writer needs to read outside the genre they write in, listening to the methods of different kinds of writers can also be very helpful.   

Content Rating:  Explicit, and tagged as such in iTunes.

Average Episode Length:  A glance askance shows about one hour and fifteen minutes.  Not bad at all!  It feels like the right length for the interviews.

Drinking Game:  Pick a book you had to read in high school and either base a drink off of that, or make one mentioned in the book.  Easy mode:  grab The Great Gatsby or The Sun Also Rises. 

Release Schedule:  An episode is released once a week, typically early in the week. 

Music: There is an opening song.  We'll get to it in a minute.   

Robert Kirkman!  John Scalzi!  Marlon Wayans!  There are dozens of people you will most likely recognize that have been interviewed on Nerdist Writer's Panel.  It is a practical cornucopia of interviews.  Blacker's interviewing method lets the writers wander in and around topics, so while you do get sage advice about writing you're also sure to hear some funny personal stories.  Nerdist Writer's Panel provides great bang for your podcasting buck, if you're willing to spend said buck listening to writers. 

And let's just assume that you are.  

Unintentionally Good Part:  I like when it is in front on an audience.  There is something charming about hearing the soft laughter of the crowd in the background.

Unintentionally Bad Part:  I dislike the opening song.  I appreciate the effort that goes into creating a song just for a podcast, but it's a race to fast forward past it each time the podcast starts up.  Sorry!  I hate poo-pooing creative efforts!  If it was meant to be an ironic presentation, then I missed the point.

Unrelated rating:  Two grammer errors and mispellings out of 3 to be at.

This is The Sporkful.  It's not for foodies, it's for eaters!

Do you know the correct position for cheese on a cheeseburger?  The details of buffet etiquette?  The hazards and benefits of being a vegetarian at a traditional Thanksgiving?  Have you ever heard the phrase "event eating" before? 

First of all, you put the cheese on the bottom bun, and condiments on top of the burger.  Let's not get silly about things around here.


Relevant Links:
The Sporkful main site!
Get the podcast for any device!  You can also watch videos here.
Store!
Twitter!


Content Rating:  Clean, so long as the idea of detailed food discussions doesn't overheat you.

I need time to drink before the turkey is ready!

Average Episode Length:  Bake for approximately 30 minutes, or until golden brown.

See this is just complete anathema to what I believe in about stuffing.

Drinking Game:  Go to the liquor store and find a "genre" of alcohol you enjoy (beer, wine, whatever).  Close your eyes and pick one at random.  Take it home and plan a meal around aforementioned purchase and enjoy!

Host Dan Pashman is passionate about food.  Like, stand-too-close-to-you-at-a-party-and-corner-you-in-a-45-minute-discussion-of-chickpeas passionate.  The man loves food, is knowledgeable about food, and likes to talk to other people about all kinds of food.  Each episode offers interviews on the subjects that surround, involve, and partake of food.  Cooking tips, cultural discussions, arguments on how to "properly" make dishes, it's all there!  The conversations are light and friendly, there to open your mind to new food horizons and make you really hungry at the same time.

Release Schedule:  Every other week. 

We're about to challenge your assumptions about consumption and drop a sporkful of knowledge on you because we're obsessively-compulsive about eating more awesomely and if history has taught us anything its that the hosts of food shows need a lot of catchphrases.

Unintentionally Good Part:  They take phone calls!  The number is 908-9SPORK9.  Usually audience-contributions are iffy on quality at best, but this is a cool way to bring up interesting and unique food-related topics.  Lots of shop-talk on how to get good browning of grilled cheeses and things like that.   

Unintentionally Bad Part:  You cannot listen to too many episodes in a row, because you are forced to realize how incredible inane it is to discuss the minutiae of food.  I was almost driven insane listening to two grown-ass adults discussion "muffin ledges".  DID I JUST HEAR SOMEONE TALK ABOUT THE "TACTILE PLEASURE OF THE MUFFIN CUP"?  Yeesh.  

Unrelated rating: It will take you at least two packets of ketchup to dip this podcast into for total enjoyment.

“No good at life, but very funny sometimes with the commentary.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

Oh, Reader.  The things I do for you.

I've provided you with plenty of reviews in the past, haven't I?  But it's never been enough.  Every(ish) week I'm forced to head out into the depths of the Internet, armed with my machete and one of those neat pith hats, to retrieve a new podcast that I can in turn share with you.  This process has led me to many different destinations and while most of them have been good, fun places with clean bathrooms, some of them are beyond the realm of safe listening.

There are podcasts out there that are deeper, darker depths than my headphones were meant to travel through.  We're talking "Heart of Darkness" deep, here.

Do you remember reading that story in high school?  No?  Well trust me, it fits.

Let me apologize for reviewing Boner City USA.  

Relevant Links:
Main Site!
Get the podcast through iTunes!
Get the podcast for other ways to listen that aren't iTunes!
Store, complete with rad t-shirts!

Content Rating:  EXPLICIT.  Explicit, explicit, expliciiiiiiiit!  I know I've tagged many, many other podcasts as explicit before but this time I MEAN IT.  For the sake of not violating Blogger's "no porn" rule, I am not even going to pull quotes from the podcast.

[I like to sing the word 'explicit' to the tune of that "Tradition" song from Fiddler on the Roof.  EXPLICIIIIIT!  EXPLICIT!]

Average Episode Length:  About an hour?  Long enough, trust me.

Drinking Game:  Pick 3-5 bottles out of your liquor cabinet at random.  Mix them all together, and then drink until you are able to speak freely about all the unspeakable things you've done in the past.  

Release Schedule:  At least twice a week.

Boner City USA is a comedy podcast hosted by comedians Andrew Dewitt, Dan Bialek, Jeff Danis and Ryan O’Neill in which they discuss the day’s pressing issues in the smartest dumbest way possible.

Maybe I'm being a bit dainty about Boner City USA.  I mean, this is the Internet, right?  If you want G Rated material, there are plenty of places to seek it out, and if you want the NC-17 rated stuff then it is certainly out there in equal (if not greater) measure.  So let me try and talk about this podcast while avoiding the fact that it is so vulgar I can't listen to it at work and I use headphones.

Boner City USA is schadenfreude in audio format. The four hosts are shameless in their discussions of their lives and will share every embarrassing facet of human existence that they have run across.  Stories involve childhood near death experiences with grain silos, interactions at the YMCA, and every aspect of dating and interpersonal relationships that you can imagine.  They'll probably even talk about a few that you haven't thought up.

The podcast is brutally honest and brutally hilarious.  Four comedians spilling their guts out and arguing with one other turns out some pretty funny conversations, and you may not want to be driving or using a knife to chop veggies when you listen.

Music:  I think they pick whatever songs they like for the intro/outro.

Unintentionally Good Part:  I like that they assign themselves jobs/titles within the realm of Boner City.

Unintentionally Bad Part:  It is super-awkward to try and share this podcast with someone else.  No one seems to be prepared for what comes out of the speakers when I play episodes for them.

Unrelated rating:  Two free t-shirts out of three.  By the way, when I reviewed another Dorksplosion network podcast, Gamedians, they sent me 3 free t-shirts from their store!  That is offically the most I have ever been "paid" for running this blog.  I can say that the shirts are comfy and high-quality.  Haven't found the right venue to wear the Boner City USA shirt to, but who knows what will happen in the future.

Lemme tangent on this blog for a second.

As you know, I like to use this blog as a way to express my enjoyment of things, mainly podcasts, as a way of hopefully getting other people to enjoy those podcasts. 

This is not a post about a podcast.  In fact, it is a post about a thing that is still being made!  Like a tectonic plate beneath your feet it is shifting, moving, becoming something awesome like a mountain or the Mariana Trench.  This is a post about a documentary called STRIPPED.  It is about comics, it looks like it is going to be awesome, and it needs your help.

What is STRIPPED?  From their Kickstarter page:

STRIPPED is a love-letter to comic strips.  It brings together the world’s best cartoonists to talk about the art form they love, and what happens to it as newsprint fades away. Over 90 interviews were conducted, including the first-ever audio interview with Bill Watterson (Calvin & Hobbes), as well as Jim Davis (Garfield), Cathy Guisewite (Cathy), Mort Walker (Beetle Bailey), Mike & Jerry (Penny Arcade), Matt Inman (The Oatmeal), Jeff Keane (The Family Circus), Ryan North (Dinosaur Comics), Lynn Johnston (FBOFW), Zach Weiner (SMBC), Scott Kurtz (PvP), Scott McCloud (Understanding Comics), Richard Thompson (Cul de Sac), Jeph Jacques (Questionable Content), Stephan Pastis (Pearls Before Swine), Bill Amend (Foxtrot), Kate Beaton (Hark! A Vagrant) and more. STRIPPED sits down with these creators to talk about how cartooning works, why it's so loved, and how they're navigating this dicey period between print and digital options...when neither path works perfectly.

Does that whet your interest?  How about a trailer:



I've been reading comics since I achieved literacy.  I would read my Mom's Bloom County collections before I understood the jokes and the funny pages were the only part of the Sunday comic I cared about.  Now I have over a dozen webcomics that I currently read.  When I'm not reading webcomics, I hang out at a comic book store (which is a different thing than strip-format comics, yes, but let me have the connection). 

Comics are rad, and learning about the history of comics via a documentary made by people intensely passionate about comics is going to be beyond-rad.  Meet the dudes at the helm of this creation:

- Fred Schroeder is a twice-Sundance-nominated film-maker. His IMDB credits can be seen here: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0775480/
- Dave Kellett is a twice-Eisner-nominated cartoonist. His strips can be seen here: http://www.sheldoncomics.com and here: http://www.drivecomic.com
- Sequential Films is their LA-based film company, which sounds hoity-toity but really it’s just two dudes in a garage.

The STRIPPED documentary is nearing completion, but Schroeder and Kellet are reaching for the stars with licensed media that pushes past their current funding.  If this catches your interest, you still have time to get in on the STRIPPED Kickstarter and make this thing even better! 

THEY HAVE AN INTERVIEW WITH BILL WATTERSON HOW COULD YOU NOT BE INTO THAT????????!?!?!?!?

Check out the Kickstarter and throw in ya cash if it moves you.  As always, thanks for reading.

Your body is a chunk of marble.

What do you want to chisel it into?

Relevant Links:
Twitter!
Facebook!
Become a Beast Site!

A Beast is an individual who achieves their physical apex through a balanced diet, focused exercise, and the desire to fulfill the opportunity they were given with their physical body.

Host David Damron wants you to reach the apex of your own physical form.  The kind of physical form where you think about walking in front of your open living room windows in your swim shorts, just to give your neighbors the opportunity to gaze at your perfect body.  Damron wants you to succeed in all your "I wish I could look like that dreams" without going to unhealthy extremes, or developing a negative view of your "current" body.  I'll be the first to admit that I resemble more of a Krispy Kreme doughnut than one of those dudes who perform terrifying pommel horse routines, but if I were to ever attempt to emerge, like a butterfly, from my deep-fried cocoon, I'd be okay with this guy as the motivational voice in my head.

The podcast's tone is encouraging, calm, and casual.  Become a Beast is there for beginners and those who are already on their journey to swole.  This podcast manages to find the right way to offer advice without becoming overwhelming or obnoxious.  Become a Beast isn't here to make fun of how few pushups you can do, it is there to clap you on the back for trying and offer a few tips on how to improve for the next attempt. 

Content Rating:  Clean, mean and 97% lean. 

Average Episode Length: 

Drinking Game:  Hm, should I really suggest a drinking game for a healthy lifestyles podcast?  Okay, um, let's see.  Oh!  Here we go, I have an idea:

1. Decide to have a smoothie.  Smoothies are delicious.
2. Pick one fruit you really like and one fruit you really dislike.
3. Make a list of the exercises you need to complete.  For every minute/rep/whatever of exercise you complete, you get x% of your favorite fruit in the smoothie.  For every minute/rep/whatever you skip, you have to put in an equal amount of the nasty tasting, but healthy, fruit you dislike.
4. Make and consume smoothie, literally tasting either your own victory or defeat.

Release Schedule: Looks like you get at least one new episode every week.


Unintentionally Good Part: When Damron is sweetly demure in an attempt to describe Body Glide, which a balm he suggests for marathon runners.  Cause, y'know, bits chafe.
 
Unintentionally Bad Part:  Much of the advice given is wholly anecdotal.  This is not a true negative per se, as none of the guests or the host pretend that they are doctors or act like their word is truth but I feel like I had to mention that in this podcast so nobody throws themselves into some exercise routine that hurts them. 

And I mean, he does an episode on how lifting free weights will help you in a zombie apocalypse. 

On the whole, Become a Beast has guests, stories, and lots of advice to be offered.  The episodes are relevant to what I'd say most people's interests are, including things like how to get back into a healthy routine after you've been sick.  Give it a listen and see if you get inspired to dust off that old gym membership that you've been paying for all these months and never using. 

Unrelated rating:  Two of those YouTube clips of people breaking their limbs lifting weights out of four. 

Portmanteaus, a combination of at least two words, are fun!  Here are some examples:
 

• Breakfast + Lunch = Brunch
• Smoke + Fog = Smog
• Short + Pants = Skort
• Pregnant + Angry = The dumbest word, it made me mad to read it
• Obnoxious + Replacement for a Sense of Humor = Snark
• Gamers + Comedians = The Gamedians Podcast

 I like that last one!  It's got a ring to it.  Let's look into these Gamedians, shall we?

Relevant Links:
Gamedians Main Site!
iTunes Download!
Libsyn Download Site (for Android and Non-iTunes users)!
Gamedians YouTube Channel!

The long and short of the Gamedians podcast is that you download it and subsequently listen to comedians talk about video games for a while.  Hosts Andrew Dewitt, Dan Bialek and Asterios Kokkinos are here to delight and entertain you with their crippling video game addiction that they've turned into fodder for a podcast.  You like the Xbox?  Some Skyrim?  Maybe you want to throwback to Grim Fandago?  These are your guys.

I remember the first time it hit home that the things I thought were awesome were actually the lamest, loser-y things.

Unsurprisingly, many of their attempts to talk about video games end up in wild tangents.  The conversations on the whole are hilarious and often include the hosts getting riled up about whatever topic they land on. 

Content Rating:  Tagged as Explicit.  There is swearing and content that is not work safe, so headphones on!  They aren't so much offensive as they are just vulgar, if that makes sense.  For example, they'll use swear words but there's no inherent vitriol towards whatever party their swearing about. 

Average Episode Length:  You'll get about an hour of fresh-squeezed entertainment per episode.  The shortest episode runs at 34 minutes, while the longest episode tops out at an hour and forty!

When I go to my Ewok market I look for free-range, no antibiotic Stormtroopers that have been treated humanely. 

Drinking Game:  I am going to point you good people over to the Drunken Moogle, where they offer only the finest game themed adult beverages and accessories. 

Release Schedule:  Oh!  We have a bi-weekly release on Gamedians!  Doesn't look like they hold to any specific days to release, so subscribe or check back often to see when a new episode drops. 

Music: Eight bit music!  It's adorable and makes me smile when I recognize the song being covered.

I have eaten mayonnaise because I didn't want to go get food.

Unintentionally Good Part:  These guys have nerd history and their reminiscing is really fun to listen to on the podcast.  There are a lot of sweet memories of their nerdy parents tucked into the episodes that I enjoyed.

Bonus Unintentionally Good Part:  Asterios Kokkinos' name.  It's just rad.

Unintentionally Bad Part:  Makes me want to spend money on video games, when I need to save it for important things. 

The human brain is a disgusting, glorious piece of machinery that mostly tells me to procure more Cheetos, Doritos, or other processed foods that end with the "ee-toes" sounds.  Once I have a few dozen bags (Funyuns are also allowed) stashed in the false bottom of my desk, my brain then tells me to write podcast reviews.

Brains are weird!  They wrinkle up when you learn a thing!  Your prefrontal cortex rewrites itself during puberty!  If something is wrong with your brain, like seizures, a doctor will crack your skull open and cleave your brain in twain to help you out!  AND WHAT I DESCRIBED IN THE LAST SENTENCE ACTUALLY WORKS.

Also, Phineas Gage. 

In summary:  brains are neat, brains are important to your day-to-day life, and we should strive to learn more about how they do the things they do.  With that in mind (pun!), we turn to the Enhanced Naked Neuroscience (ENN) podcast.

Relevant Links:
ENN RSS Feed!
Get it through Google!
Check out ALL of the Naked Scientist podcasts HERE.  There's so many and they're all FREE!
Naked Scientists Twitter!

Content Rating:  Clean.  Trigger-warning for zombies.

Average Episode Length:  A dubious average of the episodes I have downloaded in iTunes shows about 18 minutes on average.

Drinking Game:  Take a drink every time a specific part of the brain is named (dendrite, neural circuit, hypothalamus).  Alternate each drink with a glass of water because otherwise you will have an odd sense of guilt about what damage you're doing to the body part you're learning about.

Release Schedule:  Couldn't find any concrete release schedule, so let's go with "erratic".

Music:  A little intro, not bad, doesn't get it the way of anything. 

The ENN podcast is a series of interviews and articles relating to neuroscience.  Doctors and scientists in fields related to and surrounding neurology let you know about recent studies and what cool new things humans are discovering by prodding into lumps of grey matter.  If topics such as how scientists backwards-engineer neurons for testing, or studies on little amoebas and how they relate to human behavior, this podcast is your bag, baby.

Topics are discussed in such a way that they are accessible to the typical listener without being overly simplified.  This keeps the podcast interesting, and the topics themselves are flat out fascinating.  The interviews range greatly in topic, so if one interview doesn't interest you, another will be along shortly.

Unintentionally Good Part:  The delightful accents.

Unintentionally Bad Part:  When you start looking up neurological disorders on Wikipedia and the subsequent self-diagnosis that you have at least 3 of them. 

Unrelated rating:  Two out of eight mice that escaped along with the Rats of NIMH.