viddyviddy

As a citizen of the Internet, time has a funny way of passing for me.  Here is how I see the past:

Recent Past:  The creation of my favorite meme.

Pretty Decently Past:  Creation of the Internet.

Distant Past:  Long, dark, teatime of the soul, in which people used some kind of carrier pigeon service to get their text messages from one to another, surely.  There were bonfires and cave drawings of the mammoth hunt.  Most likely around 1987, also known as the Mustacheceous Era.

Apparently, or at least so I have heard, there was a time before this.  Like, waaaaay before.  Back when the Internet was still an untapped natural resource.  Since I am easily frightened by new ideas, even new ideas about very old things and people, I will turn to Dan Carlin's Hardcore History for knowledge. 

First of all, aren't the names wonderful?  You have all these wonderfully barbarian German sounding names, um, I especially like one that was just like Gandalf from Lord of the Rings. 

Relevant Links:
Main Site - Super clear site, easy to navigate, and has everything you'd want right up front.
Forums
Blog
Download via iTunes!

You want history?  Oh, host Dan Carlin has got your history right here, buddy.  Dan Carlin's Hardcore History knows its way around the history section of every library within of 200 mile radius and isn't afraid to cover the living room in highlighted Xeroxes.  If Dan Carlin's Hardcore History were a guest at a party who approached you for smalltalk, you might first be annoyed, but after an hour you would be totally engrossed by the stories it has to tell.

History!  There is cool stuff in there!  And this podcast wants to share it with you.  Here are some of the topics approached:

• Thor's Angels (this is a cool episode)
• Ghosts of the Ostfront
• History Under the Influence
• Nazi Tidbits

Content Rating: Oh, goodness.  How about I give Hardcore History a Caution Advised.  There isn't any real vulgarity, but history is plenty-full of heinous things that can be disturbing. 

Average Episode Length:  Hoo!  Okay, let's see:  out of a sample size of... you know what?  They're BIG FREAKING EPISODES, OKAY?  There is one I can see on my list that tops out at about an hour, and then there is one that is FIVE HOURS LONG, YO.  I believe there are bathroom breaks involved? 

Music: I don't think so, no.  There's a little blip of an intro and that's as far as I've heard.

Release Schedule:  Occasional.  There are months between episodes and I mean, considering the length of each podcast as well as the amount of research that would have to go into each episode, this is understandable.

Unintentionally Good Thing: Holy moly, did I mention that these episodes are stonking huge?  Quantity and quality are always appreciated!  Hardcore History is like the bulk warehouse store of podcasts, wherein you can learn about history and buy 30 cubic meters of fish sticks at the same time. 

Unintentionally Bad Thing:  This is a podcast that requires the full attention of its listener.  I find it hard to do something as simple as wash the dishes while listening, because I'll get distracted by putting away my meat cleaver and then whammo, I've lost the thread of discussion.  This podcast is most likely wicked excellent for long car rides, but not so much if you are a cubical-dweller who likes to have something to listen to while pondering spreadsheets.

DIS-to-the-CLAIMER:  I don't have the slightest damn clue if anything that comes out of this podcast is true.  There may be bias, mistakes, whatever, and it ain't on me.  Doesn't that make you curious and want to listen?  C'mon!

Bonus Content:  Carlin has another podcast, called Common Sense.  From what I can tell it is political in nature.  I have not given it a listen myself, but perhaps you could be the next bold adventurer to go forth and give it a try!  Let me know if you like it, ok?

According to a reliable source, it is Spring time! 

According to another reliable source, this is the time of year where people go outside and do... things?  They do activities of some sort, which are apparently fun?  I'm not sure what you can do that's fun and doesn't require a power source to operate.  I mean, I guess people could have portable generators so they can set up their computers in the yard but that sounds like a hassle. 

I don't do outside.  Mankind struggled against all kinds of dangers to invent important technology that has advanced our species, and I intend to honor those brave souls who spent their lives in toil by staying inside and enjoying what they have given us.

For my purposes, the 5 greatest inventions are as follows:

1. Air conditioning
2. Internet
3. Mountain Dew Baja Blast
4. The Slanket
5. Penicillin 

However, even if I don't go outside where all the grass and the Big Sky Lamp live, I realize that other people do.  In the spirit of intrepid journalism, I would like to do a review for a podcast that involves something a person has to willingly go outside for:  gardening!

I put on extra sunscreen just to write this review of Garden How-To.

Relevant Links:
Main Site
Download from iTunes
Horticultural Magazine Twitter
A YouTube Channel!
Store

Content Rating:  Clean as a freshly washed hot house cucumber.  Not a lot of room to get frothed up when you're talking about plants, I suppose.

Host Kathy Cropp (her last name is Cropp and she talks about gardening, how awesome is that!) welcomes you into the wide world of gardening and invites you to pull up one of those little foam pads to protect your knees, pick up a trowel, and join her in the freshly shoveled dirt.  If you've even looked out at your backyard and seen potential for something more than a thing you occasionally mow, this is your podcast.

Don't have a yard?  EPISODE SEVEN, "LANDLESS GARDENING", GOT YOU COVERED.  The subjects move from decorative plants to vegetable garden tips and lots of other topics that can help a garden grow. 

Release Schedule:  The last released episode was in February, 2012, so I am going to say that the release schedule is erratic/sporadic. 


Episode Length:  About-ish 29 minutes.  Just right to water your plants and listen.

Music:  A little toodly-oodly bit at the start. 

Unintentionally Good Part:  The.  Host's.  Name.  Is.  Kathy.  Cropp.  That's good enough for me.

Unintentionally Bad Part:  The host has a lovely, mellow voice.  Unfortunately for me, I can tell that it is the kind of Smooth Jazz Radio voice that would put me to sleep if I tried to listen to it at work. 

This podcast features the expertise of the host as well as a wide variety of guests that can help bring their point of view and knowledge to whatever subject is at hand.  Topics are explained in simple language, so that the novice gardener can get a good start and the practiced gardener can learn new facts/techniques to add to their routine.  Plus, it is nice to picture all the descriptions of the pretty plants they talk about.  Terribly soothing, all in all. 

Go on and give Garden How-To a listen and try some of their helpful tips out in your own plot of land?  As for me, I'mma go throw on another Slanket and maybe watch HGTV.  That suits me just fine.

Heyheyhey.  Idea!  I'm going to review Ten Minute Podcast in


Great right?  Lemme type out the categories (and the links, because c'mon, give me a chance) and let's see how far I can get. 

Will Sasso (MADtv, The Three Stooges)!
Chris D'Elia (Whitney, Glory Daze)!
 and Bryan Callen (The Hangover, The Hangover Part II)!

Together, they made a podcast!  For some reason that I am not entirely sure of at the moment.  Freshly made this February, the fellas have been steadily building up an archive of funny blather for you to listen to.

Bryan Callen:  One's got long hair, the other no hair, they're my friends for life-
Chris D'Elia:  -what does the hair have to do with it-
Bryan Callen:  Chris wears glasses even though he doesn't need them~
                - Bryan Callen "singing" the end song.

Relevant Links:
Main site!
Twitter!
iPod for the downloadin'!

Average Episode Length: For once, a podcast appears to be taking the act of mentioning its length in the title seriously (looking at you Paul & Storm).  Dead on ten minutes! 

Music:  There is an intro song, and a nonspecific end song.

Content Rating:  Explicit and tagged as such in iTunes.  The topics can jump to places you don't expect, so if you're some sort of 1920s school marm, this might be 2 HAWT TO HANDLE.  The rest of us will be fine.
  

Bryan Callen:  You are Samoan.
Will Sasso:  I'm not Samoan.

Unintentionally Good Thing: Bryan Callen singing along to the end song music.

Unintentionally Bad Thing:  This podcast is focused like an arrow.  That has no feathers on the end to guide its flight.  And it's made of Jell-o instead of wood.  Aaaand instead of an arrowhead, there's a marshmallow Peeps somehow adhered to the Jell-o.

_______________

Time!  Okay, well, there you go!  Ten Minute Podcast sure is a podcast, and this sure was a review. 

GO LISTEN TO SOMETHING. 
I HAD TWO SODAS TODAY, THAT IS TWO MORE THAN I AM ALLOWED

One of my favorite things about audio podcasts is their ability to allow me to multitask while enjoying them.  I can do chores, drive, work, shower (iPod outside the shower), and pretend that I'm actually writing and not looking at Tumblr all while listening to a podcast!  They're great that way!  It's a very peanut butter and jelly arrangement.

So, how could I be more excited than when my friend let me know about a podcast where you:
A) Listen to a podcast
B) Watch a movie at the same time?

Lads and lassies, may I bring to the fore of this discussion, Down in Front.  Intelligent movie commentary, fellas that make with the jokes, insightful discussions, how can you go wrong?

Relevant Links:
Main Site!
[This is the spot where other links would go to make your perusal of the podcast as easy as possible, but the Down in Front website is great and has everything I'd typically link to right on top of the front page.  Woo!]

Average Episode Length:  Long.  Like, for-realz long.  All of the episodes I've downloaded so far have been 2+ hours!  How do you like THAT for quantity?

Each episode of Down in Front concerns itself with a single movie.  The movie is discussed by a rotating cast of hosts the lend their expertise to the conversation.  As a listener, you can either listen to their discussion on its own OR sync the Down in Front  podcast with the movie, and enjoy the symbiotic relationship!

[Okay, it would be closer to a commensal relationship.  Happy, Ms. Science?]

This provides an amazing excuse for you to not only watch a movie you love, not only subject your friends and loved ones to watching it again for the thousandth time, but to watch a movie you love with your friends and loves ones (possibly bribed with the promise of never having to watch it again) and listening to other people who watched the movie talk about it!

If one would like, one may even pretend the hosts are talking directly to you.  Attempts can be made to join the conversation at varying rates of success. 

Content Rating:  Explicit!  Considering many of the movies they select are rated R, let that guide your expectations for profanity.  In what I've listened to the hosts are not crude, but much of what they're watching has "adult themes" so, hey, it might crop up. 

Music:  Nah, not really.  Just the lightest touch at the intro.

Release Schedule:  Weekly, with most episodes releasing on Monday.

Unintentionally Good Part:  They have an episode for "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" which is one of the best movies ever made and yes I will fight you on this. 

Unintentionally Bad Part:  Some of the reviewers either dislike or are indifferent to Avatar:  the Last Airbender, which is one of the best shows ever made and yes I will fight you on this.  Their opinion differs from mine on this single, unimportant facet of life so that makes them wrong. 

At the very, very least, Down in Front will provide you with a bevy of opinions on movies that you have seen.  Perhaps you will agree with them.  PERHAPS YOU WON'T?!?!  Then you are free to find your favorite forum (or visit the Down in Front forum) and mash your little hands against your keyboard and share your opinion with THE WORLD.

Bonus Features:  Down in Front also features a "shorter" version of their podcast called The Intermission.  This podcast is more of the "potpourri" style where the hosts bring stories from their lives to the table.   Looks like the topics can vary wildly in The Intermission, so just think of it as your own, personal lottery of things you might want to listen to!

[People are] always curious, especially as an actor.  "What do you do? What are you doing tomorrow?"  and you say, "Well, I'm preparing for auditions and I'm writing but I'm semi-retired so I decide what I'm going to do.  It's semi-retirement and I may just go to the basement and start carving duck decoys."

[Play this little tune while you read the intro.  Much obliged, pardner.]



Relevant Links:
Control Point Main Site!
Get the podcast here!
Twitter!
Community!
Streaming Site?
YouTube Channel!
TF2 Servers!

Long, long ago, back when the Internet was still awash in the primordial soup of MySpace and Napster downloads, a Team Fortress 2 podcast began, and it was good.  A group of young, intrepid men came together with a song in their heart, a microphone set up in someone's computer room, and the dream to share their wishes and dreams with an audience that longed to hear them.

There were one hundred episodes that flowed like milk and honey across the land.  For years there were fan contributions, heated discussions about "honey pot" servers, and lots and lots and lots of inside-jokes.

And then they went away.  Some say they ascended into the aether, never to be seen again.

Five hundred and forty-one days later, they came back!  And it was around this point I realized I should probably write a review about them.

Average Episode Length:  Mercy, there's a lot of episodes to looks at.  I say...approximately an hour and fifteen minutes, as the crow flies. 

Brent "Chaos" Copeland, Wes "WesWilson" Wilson, and Eric "Nailhead" Fullerton. Spencer "Devilturnip" Williams (source: TF2 Wiki) are your proud-and-loud hosts for your Control Point experience.  Fans and players of  "America's #1 war-themed hat simulator" these guys know their way around TF2 like a Mola mola knows where to get its meals.  Episodes feature discussion about game play techniques, updates, recent changes to the game, community information, nitpicking over play-styles and damn near every facet of the game that can be talked about.   

Y'all, these guys run a tight ship of a podcast.  There are topics!  There is a number you can call and leave messages for the hosts!  They have bumpers to put in between topics!  There are returning guests!  Each episode is polished and professionally delivered straight to you with clear quality and good editing.  They host a chat room as they live-stream the podcast!  I think there are even a few dramatic episodes, people.  These guys mean business. 

Music:  A banging little intro that I enjoy, as well as a good outro.  Sometimes they play 1950s-esque music, and that makes me happy. 

Content Rating:  Mildly Explicit.  I believe that these gents keep the swears to a minimum, but I am not listening through the whole backlog (again) to make sure, so I'll hedge my bets.

Release Schedule:  According to their site, you can listen live every Sunday at 5.  New episodes posted each Wednesday.  I believe that when their schedule is awry, they throw out supplementary podcasts, so keep in touch with their site to see what's up. 

Unintentionally Good Part:  The fan-contributed content.  Most of it is mediocre, but every once in a while there is a true gem of awesome.

Unintentionally Bad Part:  God bless this community, because they really seem to support this podcast, but sometimes what they send in?  It hurts the ears.  I have had to mute this podcast on more than one occasion.  Fortunately these bits are super-easy to skip over and then you get back to the goodness! 

Team Fortress 2, podcasts, and hats.  Hats, hats, hats. 

Skim over this list of words/terms:


If you cannot recognize a single item in this list, then you are excused from this review.  Go on and play at one of the nicer parts of the Internet. 

As for the rest of you social delinquents, it is time to read up on Haste:  The Official Obsidian Portal Podcast.

Before I get into this, I'll admit that I am a big fan of Obsidian Portal and would love if you became a big fan too, dear reader.  This website is a massively useful tool for anyone who plays tabletop RPGs.  With an easy to use interface, players and GMs can create/list/display/organize/edit/use any places/NPCs/PCs/Items/Documents that are used in their game.  A fantastic replacement for a stuffed, disorganized binder that can be lost/burninated/eaten, Obisdian Portal can hold an entire campaign ready to go on any computer or mobile Interweb device.

Beyond that, you can view other campaigns on Obsidian Portal to take inspiration from other people's games and see who's doing what in the RPG world.  It is free to sign-up, and while there is a paid membership that grants extra perks/functions, the basic account is still a great tool.  I've used it before in a previous campaign and it works for a document heavy game, or even a short, month-long exploration into a gaming system. 

Okay, that's my sale's pitch!  Who'd have guessed that when I find something I enjoy, I want to tell other people about it?  Let's move on!

Relevant Links:
Haste Main Page
Obsidian Portal Main Page
Twitter Page
Facebook


Average Episode Length: Twenty-one minutes.  EXACTLY.

Music:  Intro and outro, both credited to LukHash.  I am not entirely sure what a LukHash is, but there you go.

Content Rating:  Clean for everyone except Jack Chick. 

Haste:  The Official Obsidian Portal Podcast is you brief but beneficial dip into the world and whims of tabletop RPGs.  Hosts Jerry and Micah are ready and willing to relay all the most recent and relevant news that relates to this hobby.

Each podcast brings mention of any relevant news, such as anticipated rule book releases and corporate doings that affect current systems.  The hosts are knowledgeable and experienced on the whole, and it is clear that tabletop RPGs are their thing.  If any interesting items that relate to gaming have crossed their paths, they will be sure to let you know about them.  This is a good way to hear about rule systems or gaming aids that you might not run across on your own.

There are topics... which... are pretty self-explanatory.  The hosts will bring up a topic related to tabletop RPGs, and then discuss them.  ...ta-da!  The topics are varied and the hosts' thoughts are fun to hear.  At the very least, they'll give you something to disagree with at some forum somewhere. 

Haste:  The Official Obsidian Portal Podcast (I like typing the whole name out, ok?) also asks listeners to send in questions via their Twitter account. 

Finally, Haste:  The Official Obsidian Portal Podcast recommends a tip to better use your Obsidian Portal account.  What part of "The Official Obsidian Portal Podcast" are you not getting?

Drinking Game: Drinking Quest.  This is A Thing.


Unintentionally Good Part:  If you are a user of Obsidian Portal, which you should be, it is just the cherry on the cake to see that not only does this site support a huge community of nerds and their games, but works to add more useful content beyond the base purpose of their site.  Yay, effort!

Unintentionally Bad Part:  The short format and the fact that there are only two hosts leaves little in the way of lively debate.  Considering longer podcasts like Fear the Boot and The Podgecast, you may find this one a bit short for your style.